Are You Subconsciously Sabotaging Your Success?
Inspired by The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks
I’ve been reading The Big Leap lately, and it’s one of those books that gently calls you out… in the best way (my favourite 🥳).
It talks about something called the “Upper Limit Problem.” Basically, it’s this idea that we all have a subconscious thermostat — a limit on how much happiness, love, or success we’re “allowed” to feel. When things start going really well, we freak out (without realizing it) and do something to pull ourselves back down. Cue: picking fights, self-doubt, procrastination, getting “sick,” forgetting to follow up, you name it.
I read that and was like… oof. Yup. That’s me. If you didn’t know that about me, I’m the queen of starting a project - pouring my heart into it, just to find an excuse to drop it. I’ve become much better at controlling it - but finding the culprit through this book…that was something else.
Here’s how it shows up:
You finally start making progress with your health… and then you stop showing up.
You get a great idea… but talk yourself out of it before you even start.
You feel closer than ever with your partner… and then start overthinking or shutting down.
You get more clients, more momentum… and suddenly feel drained, anxious, or stuck.
Sound familiar?
It’s not laziness. It’s not a lack of willpower.
It’s your nervous system trying to protect you from expanding into something bigger. Basically, Hendricks explains that there are mostly 4 reasons for why people sabotage their progress:
“I’m fundamentally flawed…I don’t deserve all that”
“If I succeed, I’ll be disloyal or leave people behind”
“Success brings a bigger burden”
“I shouldn’t outshine others”
He speaks about how we all have one or a few of those subconscious beliefs…(If you can already see it - I recommend diving deeper with the book!).
So now what?
Noticing when things are actually going well
Sometimes I literally ask myself, “Is anything going wrong right now? Or am I just uncomfortable with things being good?”The idea is to start recognizing when you’re slipping back into behaviors that don’t serve you — not because something’s wrong, but because you’re simply not used to things going right. That awareness is everything.
Naming the fear
Success can feel unsafe if you’ve never really known it. If failure is familiar, growth can feel like a threat. I’ve had to remind myself — it’s okay to feel good. It’s safe to let things get better.
I once saw a video where a woman talked about naming the part of her brain that does the anxious, doubtful chatter — and then speaking directly to it. It sounded something like: “Larissa, we won’t be doing that today. I’m having a really good time, and I need you to step back for now.” It cracked me up — and stuck with me. Sometimes giving fear a name helps you take your power back.
Asking: What’s my next leap?
The book talks about finding your Zone of Genius — that sweet spot where your energy, talents, and purpose all align. It’s the work that feels natural and fulfilling, not forced. Lately, I’ve been asking myself: What am I actually here to do? And what would it look like to stop shrinking from that? When you tap into that place, the pleasure starts to outweigh the fear. You remember why you’re doing this. You start to feel like you again.
Final Thoughts
We all have a comfort zone — not just with failure, but with success.
Reading The Big Leap reminded me that it’s okay to feel joy, ease, and momentum… and that I don’t have to sabotage just because it sometimes feels unfamilair.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re holding yourself back, I promise you’re not broken — you’re just bumping up against your own limit. And now, you get to choose: Do I stay here? Or do I take the leap?
If you’re ready to take that next step — and want someone in your corner to help you figure out what it looks like — I’d love to support you.
👉 [Book a free call with me here] — let’s talk about what your next leap could look like.
